Personalisation
This is not a diagnosis or a personality trait. If you recognise yourself here, it is an invitation to gently check for other explanations rather than to label yourself.
What it is
Excessive responsibility is assigned to oneself for an event shaped by many factors.
How it arises and is maintained
Taking responsibility is a way to feel in control: «if it is because of me, then I can fix it». The distortion arises when a part of the causes becomes the only one. It is sustained by a habit of control and by experience where a child was blamed for other people's moods or behaviour.
How it may sound
- «My friend is quiet today; I must have done something wrong.»
- «The team missed the deadline because I organised everyone badly.»
Soft signs in yourself
- Another person's mood is explained by your own actions.
- It is hard to see causes that do not depend on you.
- Guilt arises even without any specific action of yours.
- You often apologise «for everything».
Questions for a Socratic dialogue
- What other causes, apart from mine, could have influenced the situation?
- What in this situation actually depended on me, and what did not?
- If this were about a friend, would you assign them the same responsibility?
- What helps to tell apart «it is my fault» and «I have nothing to do with it»?
Self-directed exercise
Separate the zones of responsibility
- Write the situation and your share of responsibility in it.
- List the causes that did not depend on you.
- Formulate a thought that describes your part and other factors.
- Through the day, notice the automatic «it is because of me» and check what in it is actually yours.
Core beliefs it may be linked to
- ««If something is wrong, it is my fault».»
- ««Control is only possible through personal responsibility».»
- ««Another person's state is a consequence of my actions».»
- ««I am responsible for everything that happens around me».»